Many times on my dance lessons, I get asked by my male students, "How do I ask a lady to dance?"
I feel that how we ask someone to do something with us is very important because we definitely prefer they say " Yes"!
As a woman, I prefer a gentleman hold out his arm or hand and simply say, "Shall we dance?"
Always approach a lady with confidence and a smile. You must assume that she will say yes to you before you ask her. You cannot go wrong if you act like a gentleman. If you are at a salsa club, simply say "Let's Salsa"! Always hold out your hand with the palm up, or hold your right elbow in front of her, and smile. If you are at a Country Dance Hall, say "Let's 2-Step!".
Make sure if you are dancing with someone for the first time, keep the moves simple. She will feel more comfortable following you if she is able to follow you. You will increase your chances of getting a second or third dance with her. We are all self-conscious. Ladies do not want to appear that they do not know how to follow you or dance. All women want to feel graceful. Hold her with a firm dance frame but do not squeeze or squish her lady parts!
After the dance, kindly thank her and escort her back to her seat. Do offer your arm to walk her back. Never just leave her on the dance floor after the dance!